Go on, laugh now. Get it over with. Think nothing of my self-worth as a knitter. Frankly, I’m with you. This is the very worst piece of knitting I’ve produced since the blue ‘scarf’ of dropped stitches made by 6-year-old me at infant school. I will be forever grateful for that first-ever little mess that spawned a life-long love of knitting. But this one? I’m running away screaming.
As you might imagine, I almost didn’t write this post. Is it a good idea to show off just how limited my skills can be? Did I really want to share that? But then hiding it away would be at odds with the blanket’s ‘creative journey’ premise and the spirit of this blog. I’d be undermining my own intentions. So here I am, offering you the bus test disaster in all it’s shameful glory.
Still laughing?
As it happens, before the Swiss darning, I was happy enough with the test swatch. Not brilliant, but not appalling. My tension on the feared three-stranded colourwork was tight over the 1st row of buses but it improved as I progressed, so long as you ignore the 2nd row of buses where I detoured into seeing if you can combine colourwork with intarsia to avoid using three strands. (You can’t. Or at least I can’t.) By the time I hit the last buses, it was alright. The knitting wasn’t entirely even, but it was better than I’d anticipated and in any case I’d be darning over the stiches so all the wobbly would disappear.
This is where magical thinking can be so cruel. My little hopes died as it became clear from the off that darning would hide nothing and instead would only highlight the chaos. There’s a Shakespearean tragedy on the 2nd row of buses. And yes I do mean that; its calamity is in the very nature of my forcing intarsia and stranded work to occupy the same space. But things aren’t much better on the next row which I thought had knitted up ok. Added to that, there’s a visible dip in the black row of stitches in the bottom-left and top-right darned buses, probably the result of catching grey floats at this point.
So, that’s it. Too awful to continue. Formally ditched. It will come as little surprise to my radical-emboiderer friend, Rachel, who by way of apology for not posting a comment on my bus-planning post, sent me the following WhatsApp message. ‘Trouble is,’ she said,’ I couldn’t stop at Pah. I would have to dive into the deep troubling wrongness of decorative form not corresponding to the structure of the thing you are doing and therefore losing integrity (don’t get me started on Swiss darning), and then wondering if this clash of form and function is a massive ironic joke by the knitter.’
With more experience and other skills, perhaps I could pull off the joke, make it land. As things are, I overplayed it and the poor frog died. Respecting the craft and drawing on my strengths is the way to go so I leave Emily Medhurst’s homage to moquette unsullied and will now experiment with some abstract ideas.
In defence of Swiss darning
A tiny aside before I go. I got the idea for Swiss darning from knitting the 2025 Debbie Abrahams Mystery Blanket which uses it in a number of seaside-themed intarsia squares. One features two gulls whose white bellies are given texture by dots of pale grey or sand coloured Swiss darning. I’m also using it in a series of intarsia animal squares, to replace knitting just one or two intarsia stitches which can be messy, especially with a relatively big needle (4mm) on a small square. The lion’s eyes and mouth were darned on after blocking.
Of course these are little touches rather than blocks, but they show that it can have a place, and in fact a plaid pattern that I may try for the buses relies on Swiss darning to create the vertical warp.
Oh hell, would that be another clash of form and function? Needles at dawn, Rachel.
Method and materials used, in case of interest
Yarns
- Rico Ricorumi, shades Black (06), Blue (32), Mouse Grey (59) and Wine Red (29)
- Ella Rae Cashmerino Sport, shade Steel (04)
I cast on 27 stitches using Mouse Grey on 3mm needles and spent too much time knitting from there. If anyone wants the chart, I can post it.
What needs to change
Obviously the whole approach to the square. But also the yarns. I used the Ricorumi because I had the right shades in stash for a test, but the grey is too flat and I don’t want to use cotton. The next attempts will use:
- Concept by Katia Merino Baby, shade Pearl Light Grey (55)
- Ella Rae Cashmerino Sport, shade Saffron (24) – which for some reason is bus red
- Rowan Felted Tweed, shade Granite (191) – yes, another new shade
Stopped laughing yet?
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